Things That Used To Be Normal At Weddings That You Don't See Anymore

Traditionally, the bride's father footed the cost of the wedding. This paternalistic approach segued into the concept of the bride's family paying but has now changed again. It's increasingly common for the bride and groom to pay for their own wedding. This perhaps reflects the older average age of engaged couples and their wish to do things "their way".

Now that it's common for newly weds to have been living together before marriage, there's little need for them to use wedding gifts as a way of furnishing their first home. As a result, the traditional wedding registry is increasingly redundant and couples often prefer to ask for a contribution to their honeymoon or even a charity donation.

Not so very long ago, asking for money as a wedding gift was considered the height of rudeness in most Western societies. This, too, is changing and it's not uncommon to receive GoFundMe requests for honeymoons. Some wedding guests even report finding a QR code linked to the bride or groom's Venmo on the tables at the reception.

Within living memory, most couples left their wedding while celebrations were still ongoing in order to head off on honeymoon. Nowadays, while honeymoons haven't fallen out of fashion, most newly-weds take at least a few days' breather between wedding and vacation. It's also increasingly common for people to delay any honeymoon for much longer periods.

When our parents and grandparents got married, there's a very good chance that they focused their wedding plans around two carefully chosen colors. This is a tradition that dates back centuries to a time when two aristocratic families were joined in marriage. Each family would have its own color associated with it - and the wedding would use both family's colors.

Saturday weddings have long been popular not for any religious reasons but more out of convenience. It was typically a day that people weren't working and churches were free for the ceremony. In recent years, however, more couples are opting for mid-week weddings, often because venue hires are cheaper.

A full day blow-out wedding is a cost that people are increasingly unwilling to take on. It's also sometimes a deliberate choice if the engaged couple have been married before or would prefer to celebrate with just a small group of close family and friends. Whatever the reason, shorter weddings - often the ceremony followed by a meal out - are becoming increasingly popular.

As big, all-day weddings increasingly give way to shorter, more intimate events, it's no surprise that we're also seeing the demise of the late night after-party. However, couples who opt for a very small ceremony shared only with their closest family and friends sometimes host a celebratory party for their wider circle at some later date.

The old rhyme tells us that brides wear "Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue." Needless to say, like many of the old traditions, this one is rarely observed in full - or even at all. This is at least partly because it can be tricky to find an item to meet each one in the list!

Many of us will have attended weddings that culminated in late night firework displays. However, there's now increasing intolerance towards fireworks - at least outside certain times of the year, such as the Fourth of July. Concern for wildlife, livestock and local sleepers means that many people are thinking again.

Traditionally, the bride is attended by female bridesmaids and the groom by male groomsmen (or ushers). However, now that our social lives are more flexible, this too is changing. After all, a bride may have a close male friend who she'd like to involve in her wedding and a groom may want his female friend to act as one of his grooms "men".

Queen Victoria popularised the fashion for brides wearing white, although the tradition is actually even older. Whatever its real origins, it held sway for almost two centuries before brides began feeling increasingly free to pick alternative colors that they liked better or that flattered them more.

An old custom required bridesmaids to look as similar as possible to each other, and also to the bride. Apparently this was to reduce the risk of the bride being identified and kidnapped for her dowry. Even as risk of kidnap receded, the tradition of dressing bridesmaids in identical dresses remained. However, this is now less common - often to the relief of a bridesmaid.

Another old tradition insisted not only that bride and groom should spend the night before the wedding apart but that they shouldn't see each other on the morning of the ceremony. This isn't practical for many of today's couples, especially those who already live together.

Floral bouquets are definitely still a common sight at most weddings but their expense means that some brides are looking for alternatives. Paper or brooch bouquets are growing in popularity, although the latter isn't necessarily any cheaper and is definitely usually heavier. However, these alternatives also have the advantage that they won't wilt after the wedding!

Go to any bridal store and you'll quickly see that the floor length wedding gown is no longer the only option. Midi, cocktail, and even mini lengths are all available for those who want something funkier, less formal or that just feels more "them". These less traditional styles also often pair well with colorful shoes.

Tradition says that a bride walks down the aisle with her face covered by a veil. If today's bride wears a veil, it's unlikely to be so that her groom can lift the veil at the altar and more likely because it goes with her dress. However, many brides now prefer to opt for hair accessories or a flower instead of a veil.

There's something about a man in a suit! At least, that's the popular view and so it's probably also why suits are still common at weddings. Despite this, many couples are choosing to ditch the full suit in favor of something less formal. This might mean swapping a three piece suit for a vest (waistcoat) or going for something else altogether.

Go to a wedding wearing a black or white dress and there's a good chance you'll be on the receiving end of some raised eyebrows. Chances are that those eyebrows will belong to older people as younger ones are increasingly accepting of guests wearing white or black to a wedding.

The tradition of engagement rings hasn't been around as long as most people think. And the tradition of diamond engagement rings is even more recent, coming courtesy of some very effective marketing by De Beers. Even so, for a few decades, the diamond ring reigned supreme. Not so nowadays! Brides-to-be are increasingly likely to opt for other stones - or no ring at all.

Matching wedding bands is another tradition that isn't as old as many people think as, for many years, most men didn't wear a wedding band at all. The trend for matching bands is even more recent - and is proving fairly short-lived as couples increasingly opt for slightly different designs that flatter each of them.

Although the traditional bridal entrance is still common at many weddings, especially those in churches, it doesn't work for everything. For one thing, what if the wedding has two brides? Who gets to make the entrance? And then there's the fact that not every bride wants to arrive with such a fanfare.

The tradition of the father of the bride walking his daughter down the aisle is long-standing. However, some people are understandably uncomfortable with its paternalistic aspect although may rationalise it as a rite of passage rather than anything more chauvinistic. Others might not have a father to walk them down the aisle or have someone else they'd rather share the moment with together."

The Wedding March is one of those traditions that instantly leaps to mind when one thinks of a church wedding. However, in reality, the Wedding March is unlikely to feature at today's weddings. More and more people have other music or secular songs that they want to walk down the aisle to - even if they then have hymns during the rest of the service.

Have you ever been to a wedding where a groomsman met you at the church door and asked "Bride or groom?" This was so that he could direct you to the "right" side of the church - but, nowadays, most weddings dispense with this custom and guests are free to sit where they like.

Throwing rice or confetti is another classic tradition that comes to mind whenever anyone mentions weddings. However, rice has the potential to hurt, especially if it gets in the eye, and confetti is often not biodegradable. Moreover, both rice and confetti make a mess when chucked about. Consequently, many venues ask guests to leave both their rice and their confetti at home.

There are three reasons why bouquet tossing is no longer so popular. The first, as we've already seen, is because some brides don't have a bouquet. The second is because those that do often want to keep it themselves - perhaps having it dried or pressed. Then there's the inherent meanness in singling out one's single friends and implying that they want to get married.

Many married couples struggle to recall their wedding day. Like other big occasions, it often passes in a blur. Maybe it's the anticipation of this that is driving the trend for couple to legally marry in a quiet ceremony before their wedding day. That way, they have more chance of remembering the ceremony itself and can have a Celebrant officiate at the wedding.

If your heart has ever sunk on sight of the seating plan at a wedding, be of good cheer: the seating plan is another wedding tradition that is on its way out of the door. They're a pain to draw up and you certainly won't please everyone - which is why many wedding guests now find themselves able to pick their own seat.

It isn't only table plans that are going out of fashion at weddings. The formal sit-down meal is also less common. Many couples now prefer something more casual like a buffet, hog roast, or food van. Other couples might decide to alter the traditional sit-down meal to suit themselves, perhaps skipping starters or having a cake table instead of dessert.

Rehearsal dinners are an American tradition that sees the wedding party meet for a meal the night before the big day. If cost is an issue, the rehearsal dinner is an obvious way of making a saving. It's also less likely to suit the couple keen for a more casual, low-key wedding.

Tiered iced cakes still feature prominently at many weddings. However there's now much less chance that any such cake is three (or more) tiers of fruitcake. Couples often prefer to have their own favorite type of cake, which might well not be fruitcake. They might also choose something totally different: cupcakes or even a cake made from large cheeses.

If today's wedding does feature a traditional wedding cake, guests generally expect to receive a piece to eat during the reception. However, this wasn't always the case. Until as recently as the 80s, it was traditional for guests to receive their cake as a sort of going-home gift to be eaten (or not) at some later date.

If anything can make a wedding guest slope off to the bar, it's the prospect of sitting through the speeches. Frequently embarrassing rather than humorous and often far too long, many would-be guests won't be sorry that wedding speeches are going through a shake-up. Who speaks and when is now much more of a choice - and some weddings have no speeches at all!

Traditional weddings that include a best man's speech also traditionally incorporated a short section where that best man read aloud congratulatory telegrams from guests who couldn't attend the big day. To the sorrow of some, this is one tradition that is dying out - even though a congratulatory text or Snapchat really doesn't have the same appeal.

Most older married people have an album of formal wedding photos. As well as the bride and groom, these photos feature carefully chosen and equally carefully staged group shots of the wedding party and guests. In recent years, these formal photos have given way to more reliance on candid shots that, for many people, are a better capture of the day.

The traditional wedding guest favor was a small bag of sugared almonds. Couples have been adapting this tradition to their own tastes for some time, with chocolate, popcorn, or candy as popular alternatives. Others avoid the finicky preparations and opt instead for large bowls of candy on the tables or, shock, horror, no favors at all.

Most weddings followed by some sort of reception still include the traditional first dance between bride and groom. However what then follows is often much less traditional. For instance, the bride might not follow this up with a dance with her father. Moreover, the choice of music is now wide open to suit all tastes.

Where the reception includes dancing, music is a must. However, the days of the wedding DJ appear numbered. They've not necessarily been side-lined in favor of live bands (which are expensive and often have limited repertoires). Instead, it's Spotify and carefully-designed playlists that are doing the heavy lifting at many of today's weddings.

Not so very long ago, the groomsmen would decorate the happy couple's car with "Just Married" signs, tin cans, and paper streamers. The newly-weds would then get in the car and drive off to their honeymoon, cans clattering behind them. Now that honeymoons are often postponed and the happy couple stays at the reception until the lights go on, these decorated cars are a rarity.